


A Thousand Words

by lockmyheart



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Heartache, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1945152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockmyheart/pseuds/lockmyheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Milkovich siblings find Mickey's secret photo of Ian in their bathroom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Thousand Words

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been writing this in my head every night for the past few days, so tonight at 2AM I decided to write it.
> 
> The Milkovich brother that is usually called Joey in fanfiction (why? I don't know) has been revealed to actually be named Colin. So here goes, I’ll be using Colin in this fic even though I’m still not agreeing with a Milkovich sibling without an –y name, as I wrote on tumblr. Side-eying the writers, how dare they. 
> 
> Unbetad, all mistakes are mine.

It happened early one morning a couple weeks after Ian took off.

Mickey, Mandy, and Iggy were all seated around the table, cleaning their guns and knives. The Milkoviches didn’t bother much with cleaning, but all their weapons were well taken care of.

Mandy and Iggy were quarreling over which gun would work better for an instant kill when the door to the bathroom banged open and Colin sauntered towards them, holding up a crumpled picture of – what the fuck? – none other than Ian Gallagher.

“What the hell’s this?” he asked. “Why is there a picture of that ginger fuckhead stuffed inside a magazine in our bathroom?”

Mandy didn’t need to think about it, her eyes immediately went to Mickey on the other end of the table. _Oh, Mickey._ He had gone paper white and completely stiff. It didn’t look like he was breathing at all. Fuck. He managed to drag his eyes off the picture and his panicked stare met Mandy’s. She could read his plea as plain as day. In that moment, her heart ached for him.

She put on an annoyed scowl and turned back towards Colin. “That’s mine, you moron. For fuck’s sake, who else?” She heard Mickey shakily let go of the breath he had been holding and she knew the crisis had been averted.

Colin turned the picture around and scowled at it. “The fuck’s it doin’ in the bathroom?”

Mandy sighed heavily, got up, and snatched it out of his hands. “If you must know, I dated him, remember? I forgot I still had it there.”

“Can’t believe you hide pictures of your boyfriends in the bathroom,” Iggy said, laughing. “What do you do, stare at his face while you take a piss?”

Mandy turned to glare and him just as Mickey shoved himself away from the table, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. “I’m just gonna…” He didn’t say anything else, just disappeared into his room, pale and sick looking. Mandy started to say his name but stopped herself at the last second. Better not draw attention to him.   

“Just fuck off,” she told Iggy and carefully folded up the picture and put it down her back pocket.

Her brothers forgot about the incident not long after and they went back to cleaning the weapons. Their sister’s ex-boyfriends weren’t really a super interesting subject after the first couple of humorous jabs.

Mickey never reemerged.

 

* * *

 

Iggy and Colin fucked off somewhere after they were finished with the weapons and Mandy decided it was time. Something had to be done, this had to be talked about.

She knocked on her brother’s door before carefully pushing it open. “Hey,” she said, closing the door behind herself with a soft click.

Mickey sat on the edge of the bed with his back to the door. Had he been sitting like that the entire time?

She crawled onto the bed and settled down on her knees behind him. She pulled the picture out of her pocket and laid it down beside him. “Thought you’d like it back,” she said softly. “Just… hide it somewhere that’s harder to find, okay?”

“Fuck off.”

She hadn’t expected anything more so she wasn’t discouraged by his lack of communication. She was about to snap back, tell him to just fucking talk to her, but her words died in her throat when Mickey reached for the folded photograph and pulled it into his lap, clutching it in his hands. She had already kind of guessed that Ian meant something to Mickey, but until now she hadn’t realized just how much.

Hesitantly, Mandy reached for her brother, curling a hand around his shoulder. “You okay?”

She could feel tremors under his skin. It hadn’t hit her before just how scared he was either. She squeezed harder. She had never been very good at comforting people, but she was doing her best.

“It’s okay, you know,” she continued in a low tone, looking down to where Mickey was fiddling with the folded photograph. “Maybe not to everyone, but… it’s okay, Mick.”

Mickey continued to say nothing, but he let go of another shaky exhale. Maybe he hadn’t thought Mandy would accept it either. That thought made her feel both angry and sad.

“You just…” She searched for something to say. She was out of her depth, this had come out of fucking nowhere. Her brother was gay and she would never have guessed, but it made sense. When she thought back on their life, a lot of things suddenly made sense. She settled on saying, “You could have told me. Maybe that would’ve –“

“Maybe that would’ve _what_?” Mickey snapped. He sounded hoarse.  “Made it _better_? Fuck right the hell off.”

Mandy sighed and uncurled her legs, sliding over to sit next to him, her feet on the floor next to his. “Yeah. Better.”

“We’re not having this conversation.”

She leaned against him and he didn’t shove her off. Maybe he wasn’t as opposed to talking as he pretended to be. There comes a time when all secrets begin to tear at you and eat you alive, she figured Mickey might have passed that point a long time ago.

“He’s coming back,” she said.

“No, he isn’t.”

“Yeah, he is. You really think the army’s not gonna find out he’s underage? They’re not stupid, they’re _the army_. He’s coming back and then you need to be ready to fuckin’ get on your knees and grovel.”

Mickey snorted and turned his face towards the wall, away from Mandy.

She couldn’t help but to think about what Ian had said at the wedding. _The person you love_ , he’d said.Should she tell him? No, she shouldn’t. It wasn’t her place. That was for Ian to tell when he got back. Instead, she put her hand on Mickey’s wrist, stopping his nervous fiddling. “Hey,” she said. “Look at me. Mickey, look at me.”

He made a face but eventually turned his head, slowly, as if it physically hurt him to do so. She forced her face to remain blank at the sight of his red-rimmed eyes.

“It’s okay,” she said again and grabbed a tight hold of his chin when he made a move to turn away again. “No, look at me. In the eyes, Mickey.  It’s _okay_. It’s fine.”

She let him go when his eyes turned glassy. She wasn’t here to humiliate him, just to tell him something she knew he hadn’t heard from family before.

“Alright.” She patted his thigh before standing up. “I’m gonna make some pasta, you want some?”

She waited patiently for an answer. Mickey was looking down at the folded photograph. “Sure,” he murmured at last.

Mandy nodded and made her way over to the door. She turned around on the threshold, eyeing Mickey’s back. “I love you, douchebag.” It wasn’t something she said, it wasn’t something any of them said, but sometimes it was needed.

Mickey snorted again, but this time it was slightly amused. “Bitch, just go make me food.”

Mandy smiled, she knew an ‘I love you, too’ when she heard one.

And if she hadn't glanced inside the room right before the door clicked shut, she would have missed Mickey carefully unfolding the photograph. 


End file.
